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How are they supposed to remain loyal, and supportive to you while still going on vacations and dinners with the family? It makes everything a competition. It WILL be awkward. If you meet your significant other through your sibling, your sibling has already been on many more vacations, went to more parties, and known your new partner long before you have.

If you feel like you can handle this then God bless you. If it happens beyond your control just make the best of it. You can only tell them how it makes you fell, and hope they take it into consideration. Your partner's family becomes your second family, and it's a bit of an invasion to have your brother or sister break into your home away from home. Some children will feel that they should have been the one to get sick, or that they somehow caused the illness.

Brothers and Sisters Day

Sometimes they might have negative feelings about their sibling and be ashamed that they are thinking them. You may have to leave your other children at home or with friends or relatives while you care for your sick child. Your children may see treatment days as 'special' outings for you and your child with cancer.

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You and extended family members can help your other children by making them feel important too. Often a little extra attention can go a long way. As treatment progresses and your child starts to look and act 'healthy', brothers and sisters can start to resent the continued attention they receive. Parents often complain of behavioural problems with siblings as treatment continues.

Date Night

Make sure you continue to have regular, open conversations with them. Explain just because their sibling is looking healthier - it does not mean that they have necessarily had their cancer cured. Your children may worry about what is going on at the hospital instead of concentrating in class.

On a 'bad' treatment day your child may come home sick, and you may well be worried. If blood counts are low, there is always the chance that you will have to stay with your child in hospital. Siblings often admit to worrying their sibling may die. Reassure your children that cancer does not necessarily end in death. In fact, most children with cancer have excellent recoveries.

Overprotective brother interrogates little sister’s awkward date on camera

There are still many mistaken beliefs about cancer in the community. Good age-appropriate cancer education can help with this. Caring for your sick child will take a lot of time and energy, whether your child is at home or in hospital. Unfortunately, this means that sometimes brothers and sisters often have to 'make do' until things improve. This may mean a lack of emotional support or no one to help with things such as homework.

As childhood cancer treatment may continue for up to 2 to 3 years, it can have a major effect on your other children. Support your child to develop stronger relationships with other adults or peers during this time. This will help build resilience and strengthen their support network during this difficult time.

It is hard to see anyone that you love upset by something that no one can control. Often older brothers and sisters feel the need to support parents during the 'crisis' times. They may also feel lonely because they don't want to worry you. Siblings often feel pressure to be good all the time or to take on much more household responsibility than is usual for their age. As a result of your energy being taken up by your sick child, your other children may have to rely on friends and teachers for support. Remind your children that whatever they are feeling - it is perfectly normal.

Encourage them to discuss what they are feeling and not to bottle up their emotions. If they do not feel comfortable talking with you about their feelings you could suggest they try keeping a journal instead. Sometimes it can be a good idea to encourage your other children to come along to doctor and hospital appointments. This way they can keep up to date with what is happening.

Talk with them regularly about updates so that they are not left wondering. It is a good idea to remind younger children that they are not to blame for their sibling's cancer. It is also important to let them know that it is OK for them to have fun and play with their friends while their sibling is sick.

DOCS: Brothers & Sisters In Love

Having a sibling with cancer can be emotionally draining. It's important that your other children feel they can have a break from their sibling's cancer and treatment. For example, you can encourage them to spend time at a friend or neighbour's house. It might help to let your other children's school or teachers know what is going on for them so they can provide additional support. This is also helpful if they are developing behavioural or academic difficulties.

"Brothers & Sisters" Date Night (TV Episode ) - IMDb

While there are many challenges for siblings of cancer patients, research has shown that there can be some positive effects as well. Supporting Adolescent and young adult siblings of cancer patients: The pages in the childhood cancer and education section of this website have been developed in collaboration with the National Child Cancer Network NZ , and the Ministry of Education.

Child Cancer Foundation CCF provides strength and comfort to families, parents and children impacted by child cancer. CanTeen is an organisation that is there for year olds living with cancer, whether they are dealing with their own cancer or that of a sibling or parent. The AYA Cancer Network Aotearoa connects hands-on healthcare and support providers from many disciplines and organisations, to improve cancer services for adolescent and young adult New Zealanders. Camp Quality is an organisation that provides programmes for children aged 5 to 16 who have been diagnosed with cancer. They provide a stress-free and caring environment for children where fun and friendship are combined with achievable challenges - allowing the children to 'just be kids'. MacMillan Cancer Support have a wide range of resources to help teacher and schools support students with cancer. CLIC Sargent helps families limit the damage cancer causes beyond their health.

The Clic Sargent website has a useful section for parents who have a child recently diagnosed, or living with childhood cancer. This page last reviewed 20 August

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