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Rather than feeling 'numb' at the snub, they experienced the full the sting of rejection more sharply, and found the pain less easy to deal with.

How To Handle Rejection Like A Grown-Up (And Learn From It)

In the happier event of learning that the person they liked reciprocated the feeling, both depressed and non-depressed individuals reported feeling happy and accepted. However, the researchers noticed that the upturn in mood was much more fleeting among those who were classed as depressed.


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A ccording to current scientific thinking, the key to the discrepancy in response lies in an area of the brain known as the anterior cingulate cortex ACC , which appears to become more active during rejection scenarios. S o what is it that makes some better at dealing with rejection than others?

How To Handle Rejection The Right Way

Can we learn or improve our ability to be resilient in the face of rejection? It could be useful to help retrain the thought patterns of those who are especially sensitive to rejection. Dr Perkin's words resonate because we are increasingly subject to rejection in modern life. Social media compels that we open up our inner lives up for scrutiny; even TV shows like Take Me Out encourage us to revel in the humiliation of the put-down. But perhaps nowhere is the rejection more cutting than in the world of online and app-based dating , where a thumbs-down swipe-off from a potential romantic interest is immediate and unequivocal.

How to deal with rejection

You'll not find out why you've been consigned to the 'No' pile, but it will be painfully obvious that you're not even worth chatting to. For users of swipe-and-chat platforms like Tinder, having a screen between you and your rejection offers little comfort. W e've all reacted badly.

How Do You Get Over Constant Rejection From Online Dating

He can't say that! As a freelance journalist, it's a scenario I experience on a daily basis.

https://ethalolenef.tk Around 12 pitches get rejected for every one article that gets the go-ahead. Do I have the thick skin to deal with this constant rebuttal?

2 Focus On Your Loved Ones

In the past, I've been guilty of consciously avoiding situations where I might get rejected, both professionally and personally. The last time a man turned me down I retorted word-for-word, and I'm not proud of this: I'm working on a being comfortable with making myself vulnerable and b dealing with the inevitable occasional rejection in a dignified manner.

As Dr Adam explained resilience is learnable, but it takes practise. S o here are my top tips for when you're turned-down , passed-up or brushed-off:. T o get over an old one, get straight on top of a new one. Distracting yourself is more dignified than begging for another chance to show them what they're turning down, believe me. Rarely are rejections personal, especially in dating. The main factors come down to individual wants, rather than needs. Did their lifestyle suit yours? Aspects of their personal life that you have reservations about? More often than not a rejection is actually best for both people, so be happy you got away.

Rejected by one person? A nice tip a psychologist passed to me was this. Think about what you were doing this time last year — most people will struggle.

This simple exercise highlights that things will pass, you will forget about this and this pain will go away and you will be back on a new venture — such is life. Take a breath, look at the whole picture and…. Giving up after a rejection is the worst thing you can do. That feeling that replicates physical pain will stay there and your apprehension of trying again will grow and grow until you have scared yourself out of jumping on the horse again.

How boring would a game be if you knew you were going to win every time?


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Darren is an online dating consultant and writes for various industry-leading websites as well as his own: Skip to content The Soulmates Blog.